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water just keep flowing dwn from my eyes.. y? issit becos since the day i haven really cried out...
all my emotions in me is controlled... i thought i was being able to be as strong as before or even stronger.... but no it does not seem that way but i got to ... met steph at parkway for some shopping lunching and updates of stuffs... after that took a bus dwn to station to take train to bukit gombak as meetin timing to meet chirst was abt 730 at there sofrom mrt station took a cab dwn which is like 5 dollars... LOlx...... but in the end ... end up at pub drinking abt 2 over hours with patrick.... making me seh as soon as he can before he leaves early... reached there omg seems like alot of ppl... they are having pool tournament thingy so we are asked to go dwn..

suay learn a new game with 6 cups numbering from 1 to 6 then use dice throw.. if the cup is empty we can add wadeva we wan tiger beer or voddka ribena is wad we ussed... arghh patrick keep adiing tiger while me is ribena vodka... cause tiger taste superly horrible ... i can be damn suay to hit 3 cups in the row drinking tiger... pps was likeee pour more tiger lohhh.... vodka more ex.... wahhh.... hahahass... shitty taste...

well heard jj some wrdings really makes me superly sad but tried to hold on.... i simply quiet just dun feellike talking andcontinue happily with games with patrick... complicating matters... anyway...

women ended up coming 9 plus near 10 instead i suppose but no worries i understand ... she went eat dinner till super late.... before she came eelong reached....
well din entertain him much as i was already damn dwn tired..... sorry for that..

after she came we started drinking again but me nt as much le.. after patrick left we kind off slow down... am lucky some tiger beer pps and azman did help me drink and thanking eelong too...

well cab home .. chirst send me up went to room... changed eaat abit thin and zzzz too tired le...
keep feel like vomitting tried vomitting at the side before goin up on cab... before that he came over... i really dunnoe after somesot of finishing talkin when he walked away i just simply teared out i dunnoe whyy... is like non stopp i wanted to stop it but it just kept flowing . its good thats he does not see it as its superly ugly.. when chirst came back frm dunnoe where she and ee long was like tryin to cheer me up... she was trying to pull me to toilet... went and back to bar and went to pps office to rest on sofa...

i have got alot to say but i am just lost for wrds too i guess and i cannot possibly list it all out here.. who knows wad am i thinking i guess only chirst for now bahh.. ... i like the way he treats me.. though he is older then me alot but i did not think much on that point .. its abit different frm others..but at the starting point of dunnoe when ... i started hearing things which i tried telling myself its just gossips but my heart and mind was kind of confused and maybe jealous.. saying things that i knw wad the outcome would be ... though i would say i dun wan any commitment now or what but i really hope this feeling wouldnt end just like that after hearing his words i have mixturee of feeling now sad happy confused... i was at fault for not being understanding but i dunnoe... i thought that i have already know how to forget but no... its not easy....
anyway saying too much also no use... just hope he be happy.. its just complicated....

i guess for now thats all i have to sayy going back to my lalaland again...

nites or rather good morning ppl...

bendanlicious...